Welfare Reform tightens its grip on lone parents
The Westminster government's welfare reform programme is increasing the pressure on lone parents to look for work. Since October 2010 lone parents whose youngest child is 7 or over are no longer entitled to Income Support as a lone parent.
They must now apply for Jobseeker's Allowance and have to be actively seeking employment. Lone parents who are currently in receipt of Income Support with children over 7 will be moving on to Jobseeker's Allowance during the course of 2010.
From October 2011 this will apply to lone parents whose youngest child is 5.
For more information see: www.dwp.gov.uk/welfarereform/readyforwork
What do you think of these measures? Let the us know by adding to the discussion below...
The views expressed in this discussion are the opinions of others and do not reflect the views of One Parent Families Scotland.
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While I aplaud the tax credits system, in fact I'll not have a wrong word said against them and I'm sure many lone parents would be at a loss without them. However if a lone parent cannot pay their rent feed and cloth his/her child/ren and yes still have money left over for treats and luxuries for her children which I believe they're entiled to seeing as they're forced away from the most precious thing in their lives (their child/ren) from their salary alone and they need the tax credits to hold their hand then that tells me that there is something not quite right with the system. x
Recieved another rejection for a vacany again!!!! what a damn suprise. There is one positive to this though (job rejections) they can't take my confidence away, well how can any one take from me what I haven't got! so if the government are infatuated with demonising and devluing lone parents then they're wasting their time with me as they cannot make me feel any worse than I already do, my aploogies for disapointing them! With the lack of vacancies and all these rejections I might just way up the pros and cons of having another baby and go back on income support and have a quiet life. I often wonder if I am the only lone parent who feels like this? For any one who wishes to reply to this comment please think before you are judgemental as I have spent over a year exhaustivly applying for vacancies looking for almost any type of work I'm not scared or too proud to put my hand down a toilet to provide financial support for my child and set her a good example.and yes I would even turn to prostitution if things got really difficult and it was the only way to support my child. I am also working voluntary, too so I can't be referred to as work shy if I am willing to go out and work for nothing. I am proud to be working (voluntary) as it comforts me to think that I am giving something back to society, and not just taking from the tax payer, but then to come to my defence I was once a tax payer so I suppose it is fair to say that I used to support people with my taxes, too which of course I didn't mind as I know more than anyone how hard looking for work is in the real world and while I applaud the work programme if it helps me to gain employment then I'm right behind it, but the sad fact is they can't force an employer to take you on if he/she takes one look at you and decides they don't like you there's not really a lot that anyone can do. xxx
I ended up being a single parent at 19. I was working when I fell pregnant but I was with the father at the time and I was working. However, my work refuses to give me maternity pay so I had to leave. My relationship broke down before I had my son and we split. I've been a single stay at home since. I would give anything to be able to find a job with works around my sons school hours I don't have anyone who can watch him during holidays so its a horrible situation. I'm glad I didn't work for the first few years because I didn't miss anything. But now he is st school. I want to work. The government need to give single parents a lot more support. Parenthood is job. You work 24/7 and its the most rewarding job in the world.
I agree with your comment about the importance about staying at home while they're very young as you will never get those years back ever again, and it's very important that you are there for every milestone. Having said that though if I knew then (before the welfare reform was born) what I know now I would have gone back to work when my daughter was a baby. Please don't read me wrong those years were probably one of the best times of my life, but I'm suffering for it now though. It's almost to the point where I am considering having another baby to ease the pressure. and it's not because I am lazy it's because when you're on income support they seem to encourage you more and give you more help to find work on I.S. Whereas on J.S.A you're basically almost left on the scrapheap. It's very well and good people talking about the work programme but it will only work if the jobs are available in the first instance. It's ironic really I am thinking about having another baby because I feel it would give me better opportunities to secure employment. I agree also about your comment on lack of support from the government the and childcare for the over 5's is virtually non existant these nurseries and childminders ( as good as job as they do) don't seem to be able to see past children aged 0-5 years, sorry but it's no use when you've got a school age chlid and you're forced to work with no child care or support. If this government has no reguard for the welfare of children (and they can't do or they would have had childcare provision in place a long time ago) then maybe they should not be in government. I hate the fact that motherhood is often devalued and not seen as a job, but the minute you start caring for someone else's child you are all of a sudden seen to be " working". x
This "free sahinrg" of information seems too good to be true. Like communism.
Why is it if you are looking after someone else's child it is all of a sudden seen as" a job". Whether the government and society like it or agree with me or not" motherhood is a job".! There I've said it! xx
Many married working people are worse off financially than single parents. I object to being taxed so that a woman who has decided to allow the state to be her husband can have a house, free rent, council tax paid and loads of other benefits. That's the truth of it. If a single parent had to work as hard as many married women there would be far, far fewer. Just look around you as pregnant teenage girls fill classrooms as they later do McDonalds. And I know exactly what I am talking about because I have been a single parent - what an easy ride!
In response to your comment Valerie and I refer to one line in particular "I object to being tax so that a women who has chosen the state to be her husband can have a house rent free council tax and other benefits" as you were once a single parent yourself isn't it for people to make the assumption that you once " chose the state to be your husband"? You're not the only one who can play "judge and jury". That's also the " truth of it."
This reply comes with no disrespect meant to you at all, but "Do you honestly think that you are in a position to judge and criticsize lone parents when you have been there yourself.? The words" forgot ones self are ringing in my ears". Sorry Valerie, but some had to have the guts to say it
Just a reply to your comment, Valerie. Like you I also find being a lone parent very easy ,as I only have my self and my child to think of. However I recognise that not all lone parents are as lucky as me and I do not think it is my place or yours to be judgemental to other people and generalise that being a lone parent is an easy ride. you have only got to go through these comment and read them in detail to see that it is very far from an ride for some lone parents. I also think it is unfair to pass judgement on teenage mothers, Yes of course Valerie I am very far from nieve and I am aware that some teenagers deliberatly get pregnant for certain reasons ie the benefits or maybe just to be loved uncondionally! and there are also the ones who fall accidentally which could have easily happened to both you or me or anyone else. x
I have been a single parent and brought up 2well behaved kids, I am now working and my daughter is working full time. I chose not to get married, and at nearly 40years old still feel the same. My thoughts are also still the same and would never pass judgement on any single mothers on benefits. No one knows any backround details to each individual so therefore we need to stop adding negative critisism by comparing their lives to our own. That is just my view and hope it will catch on.
Thankyou from myself and on behalf of all lone parents for such a non judgemental comment. it is very much appriciated x
Valerie, you say many married women work hard and you're probably right and this website is all about voicing your opinion which you are more than entitled to do so, but so too am I, so here goes please do not forget we can turn this around there are plenty of married women that are "allowed to stay at home and choose to and there are plenty of single parents who work very hard.
Hi Valerie, your point is taken, but please do not generalise and be judgemental as not all single parents "choose the state to be their husband" people can become single parents through no fault of their own ie death of a parntener of domestic violence. What is a person who is being abused by her partner supposed to do stay with them just so as not to be an inconvienience to society. Let's not also forget a lot of single parents work damn hard
I am fed up reading comments from people who have taken the decision to have children but expect other people to support them via the over generous welfare system and i include full housing benefit and council tax benefit when I say that which most people seem to forget they receive. I was shocked to find out recently that every penny generated from the income tax of every single working man and woman in this country goes to those on benefits which is why there is so much additional stealth taxes that keep going up and up. I think I should be given the choice as to whether I should contribute financially to those on benefits and the only 2 groups I can think of are OAP's and those who are genuinely incapacitated. I hate having to work all month and having £500 a month taken from me plus another £120 to the council. People are saying there are no jobs but immigrants seem to travel across Europe and pick up a job within weeks of arrival yet people here cannot do the same thing in a year. If we all decided to give up work and live off benefits, the country would grind to a complete standstill then where would you be. Benefits should be replaced with food stamps only and no money for booze and fags.
My duty is to my child not the government x
My first duty is also to my children and providing their financial support. It is not my duty however to provide financial support to other people's children who cannot be bothered to work or look for work.
Please do not be judgmenal, Joanne. saying that people cannot be bothered to look for work when you know nothing about their lives or circumstances. I work voluntary and I have tried everything to get a job and will continue doing so as these impossibly beyond the joke hard to please employers will not grind me down. At the same token though I will not let them be the most important thing in my life either! I worked danm hard before I became a mother and paid my taxes so to some extent it is my money, and if you heaven forbid ever come out of work , which can happen to anyone at any time (yourself included) the benefits that you may have to claim will be your money, too as you have paid in to the system.
I am a single mum to a four year old whose not 5 till june next year I received a letter back in September saying I would be moved to JSA when my daughter turns 5 fair enough but since last September I have had to go to my jobcentre every 2 weeks and tell my lone parent adviser what I have been doing to actively seek work you dont get to wait till they turn 5 at all. The stress is unbelievable the pressure on lone parents is disgraceful but nothing will be done society loves to pick on the lone parent. I had a interview last week for a temporary position cost me 15 pound for a top and pants 5 pound in bus fares but of course the lone parent didnt get the job all i got was the most horrible feeling of worthlessness oh and i had to spend 3 days without gas on my meter cause i needed the money for smart clothes and bus fares. Also some of these stay at home mums with partners get tax credits working tax credits and housing benefit help my friend does.
Nothing should shock now on this forsaken planet and with this government running Great Britain, who may I add were not elected but crept in like snakes but the fact that you and your daughter had to go without gas for 3 days as you had to buy clothes to look smart is dispicable this is the 21st century. would your lone parent advisor let her/him self and their family sit for 3 days in these artic conditions without gas? we both know the answer It's all very well job centre staff looking down their nose on lone parents and yes I know that they are only" doing a job themselves", but let's not be too hasty to forget that without lone parents not being in work some of them would not have a job. The words easy target are never far from my mind when I think of the government and lone parents. Some one is going to say this so it might as well be me I am a lone parent and I most certainly do not feel worthless being a lone parent and not working and neither should you feel that way, Kate as we do the hardest job in the world. Do partenered/ mothers reffered to as" stay at home mums" feel worthless and have to justify them selves to certain closed minded members of society? certainly not!so nor do I and isn't it strange when it's a job when people look after other people's children ie foster carers ect x
Hi im a single dad ,i have full custody of 3 children and have been single parent since 2005. I have to agree with many single parents on here .My situation is a littl different .I have no qaulifications.no family support and also have a disibility that limits what work i can do but at the same time not ill enough to claim DLA or any of those benefits. I am being pushed to find work to come off of benefits.WHAt so i can just give it all back for nothing . I would have to pay full housing rent,tax,school meals,afterschool clubs carers i would end up owing more than i would have comming in unless i work longer shifts .So i get no time with my kids .No thanks my kids have suffered enough without this rubbish too. I didnt ask to become a single dad with 3 kids & live on benefits . Maybe if you cut some of these big cats wages instead of making the poor poorer. Bank managers are greedy just like goverment officials put your hand in your own pockets for once
I am a single Mother with a just four year old son.
When I had my son, I was sixteen. I went to college and completed four different courses over two and a half years. The fourth course was the hardest because I had to pay almost £200 over the year for a registration fee. That hit me really hard, but was worth it as I now have the qualifications.
The government doesn't just throw free council houses at you with loads of money. It's really difficult just to get a home and claim benefits especially when you're living on the streets or sofa surfing whilst pregnant. People need to open their eyes and see it from a single Mother's point of view. Just because my partner left me and our baby, and he does not work, why does that automatically make me a criminal and a disgrace to the human society?! I chose LIFE for MY flesh and blood. Why should I have to murder the life inside of me, just because I don't have a husband or life partner to take care of me, or my child whilst I work.
I should not be forced to work, I want to stay at home with my son. I do not want family, friends and after school clubs raising him, being passed pilla to post, whilst I work in a dead end job earning pennies. Why should I have to take him in at eight am for breakfast club and leave him in after school clubs until five or six pm, that's a long day for a child that's only just starting school! Also, a hell of a lot of money for these clubs which is going to come from where? Once I was working, I'd have to pay for FULL rent and council tax, (£450ish monthly.) which is a lot of money to pay when I'd only be earning around £600 a month and that's if I worked EVERY single day apart from Sundays, whilst raising a four year old, keeping on top of bills, running a house and being pregnant too!
I am a good Mummy and it's the hardest job in the world, especially to do it ALONE, don't judge single parents, we didn't choose to be on benefits and live in council houses.
Society and the government see you a criminal because you are an easy target, Cherry. It's far easier and braver for them to find fault with a single parents trying to do the best for both her and her innocent child who did not ask to be born into a single parent family! then to vent their anger and discontempt to the parent who walks away from their responsibilities. I'm with you Cherry believe that returning to work should be at your own discretion not society's of the government. Especially if you have paid in to the system(Square pegs and round holes also come to mind)
I am a single parent to a 7months old baby.. Where am i gona get a job to pay my full rent; council tax,childcare etc i dont have a familyy i cant pass my baby to anyone.. ths new goverment need to be kicked out asap.. useless cutting dwn all the jobs. u cant get a job without expirience how you suppoz to have it if thy dnt gve u the job. david cameroon need to be out his not duin anything just takin money for no reasonn...
Hi Jojo. I fully hear your concerns and I am completley on your side and I do agree with everything you have said and the bottom line is "There are not many jobs out there. However please try not to let this worry take over your life as at present you are not obligated to work until your child is 5 giving you another 4 years and 5 months a lot can happen in that time. fair enough very easy for me to say that I am not your life.However you can ask for a better off calculation when you need to return to work and you should not be obiged to take a job that leaves you financially worse off, because as my memory serves me these rules where born to help eliminate child poverty and how would child poverty be eliminated by making lone parents work and be out of pocket. also congratulations on your lovley new baby, please just try to spend the next few years completley and utterly him/her as they grow so fast and he/she will be starting school. The thing that has angered me most, Jojo about the welfare reform is the fact that married/partenered mums are not obliged to seek work, but then why should we expect anything eles, after all lone parents are an easy target aren't we! I completley seeth when partenered mums who choose not to work are seen as stay at home mums or full time mums, but lone parents who do not work are looked on as lazy and setting a bad example,err what exactly is the morale difference because I cannot see one xx
I believe that returning to work should be a personal choice my child is 12 and very mature and trustworthy and quite confident to look after her self but who am I say " All lone parents should return to work" as we all have different needs and we cannot all be put in the same box so it would be very ignorant of me or anyone else for that matter to be judgemental to other lone parents and have the "get a job"! attitude. I offer my services voluntary and it makes me feel valued and sets a good example to my child that you should not just take but also give something back, too and it also gives me my own identity. while I love being a mum first and formost I am also a person in my own right with a lot to offer to the workplace and I look farward to being part of the work force (gaining paid employment,hopfully sooner rather than later), but having said that I don't think forcing lone mums/dads into unsuitable work to was the correct way to go about reforming the welfare state. xxx
David Cameron - BESTQuote " We live in a sick society"
Yeah thats right! Why in gods name was you elected?!? Since when was it ok to leave children at the age of five to fend for themselves!
What I seen since David Cameron has been in power:
Forcing Mothers/Fathers Back to work
Introduced Work Programme, Which forces people into non-paid work if they been claiming jobseekers for 6-12 months. You are placed with a provider for up to 2yrs. This breaks many LAWS, Slavery is one as if you say no you will lose benfit entilement for 6months and is also in breach of Data Protection Act, Many of these providers have all ready been fined, A4E, Prospects for example.
David Cameron attacks human rights and wants it changed.
David Cameron attacks gay rights.
David Cameron failed to deliever Fifa which would of created some jobs.
Massive Private Sector Cutts
Many Factorys Closing and moving abroad.
Univeristy Fees Doubled
Schools Being Closed
Talk about monthly Bin Collections (WTF)
MP's Stealing Tax Payers Money
High Inflation
David Cameron bailing out other countrys
Also so much more which I probably not added above, The only sick people who are running this country are the polticians which we elect.
Change has to start somewhere, I would say bring back labour!.
i agee have been sent to an employment place called maximus run by david camerons lot to get me off jsa they are desp to save money and the poor are the ones to suffer as usual
Well said matt
I could not have said it any better myself
I totally agree, i am on a work programme and i believe its close to being forced to stay with the work programme. I am not happy and nor did they help me until i started to help myself. I enrolled at college then when i went to ask for some help with funding, i was told it will only be provided if i go and enrol on a college which the work programme will allocate me. untill that time i was willing to pay a third of it. Thinking i can start my course, no sooner did the work programme find out i was helping myself they said i have to listen to what they are offering and go by their rules as they are supposed to help me. In all honesty i feel trapped and very miserable as i was offered a college place where i had enrolled months ago and realised i have to give that up. The jobcentre advisers say different things too, one said if your not happy you dont have to stay with them. One said make the best of the two years you have with them. I will say it is a waste of time being on the work programme if a person is not happy, and should be allowed to leave and go to another work programme. I complained to the manager and he just said he will try to help but i just feel the jobcentre is asleep as they seem to think the money thrown to all work programmes is going to help us get jobs sooner. Its not and i am also volunteering incase anyone thinks i am just complaining for nothing. I feel stressed as i needed the college place.
I cannot say bring back labour but i will say all politicians are out to line their own pocket and when they get fed up of the state the country is left in they are then glad to leave. Its a circle and all leaders are the same in my opinion.
Hi Marsh Monster. yes all leaders are the same, hence the reason the reason I have never voted since the welfare reform was born, and I never will (unless it becomes compulsary) and the next government that I choose to elect will be one that promises to stop demonising lone parents, and if we are to be forced to be seperated from our children then we need to demand better childcare acsess(sorry 4 getting off the point a bit there.) Lone parents are not asking for special treatment just fair treatment. x
you have seen what has happened since this party got in again,making cuts to all sorts of services to pay back the countries debts, protesters riots striking,all since this government,you know that the price of food has gone up sky high even economy food and they have not increased the benefits of single mums and sick people, therefore we get more sick because we cant afford proper food,no homes,people,will be starving soon and more and more sleeping on the streets.So why don't the government cut the ridiculously high wages of politicians,to help pay back,its not right that they get paid more than someone working in an hospital or doing some other deserving job.There are not enough jobs to get people working and they are so low paid its nothing more than cheap labour.I feel sorry for our kids,growing up in this world ruled by this evil money grabbing government.Rich are getting rich and the poor poorer,sad
its "bring back labour" that brought this country to its knees, by voting labour, "thank god" for david cameron, to be strong enough and have enough courage, to even try to touch the tip of the iceberg, that the labour goverment left this once wonderful country that millions of men, women and children, died for in two world wars, go to the dogs. these days, instead of being grateful, there is just a thirst, of , "what else can we get for free? without doing anything, except to sign on?" and get everything and more! than hard working people. its not david camerons responsability to look after your children at any age, its yours! as for the word "slavery" you are living in the most liberal and most free country in the world, and should thank your lucky stars!
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How typically judemental and closed minded, Yes I am in full agreement with you it is people's responsibility to look after their own children, but I am afraid if lone parentsd are to be forced out to work then I am sorry but we should have the right to demand (yes demand) better accsess to childcare would David and Samantha Cameron or any other person in government leave their child to fend for themselves or if you have children would you? answer honestly ? No of course not and that is perfectly understandable, You and the government would never accept second best for your children so why should I or other lone parents stand for second best for our children? and before further judgement is passed please remember that certain lone parfents could have been widowed or could have fled from a violent partener.
Disgusting money grabbing greedy dirty government should be ashamed of there selfs...There is hardly any jobs for us men to get never mind trying to make single mom's get work...A mum should have the right to be at home with the kids or if they want to work they can but they should have a choice in my view......This government is clueless how do they think it is possible for everybody to work when they can't even help to provide enough jobs....People need to stick together on this and protest it petition against it or something the government shouldn't be allowed to get away with this....And so in their view i take it a child is perfectly fine to fend for itself at the age of 7 ? Yeh right get a grip you sicko twister screwed up government...Don't forget don't vote for Cameron again he'll want to charge you for fresh air soon
ere ere well said x
Agree with you completley, but never mind that they think a child can fend for themselves at 7 they are excelling themselves now as the age as now gone down to five. I find myself asking would any governing authority say that their own children are able to fend for themselves? at such ayoung age. I think we both know the answer ,they will not accept anything but the best for their own children (and yes fair enough) but in return I don't think that lone parents should accept anything but the best for their children, and to seperate the child from their only carer can be very upsetting for a child. I also feel that it should be a personal choice, because let us not forget married?partenered parents are not pressured by the government to look for work are they!You also make a good point, too when you ask where are these jobs? Thankyou for being so non judmental to lone parents.x
We have a government that dont give a shit about our kids welfare, they target the poor to set an example to show the rich their power as all dictators do. I am a lone parent with a 12 yr old and we are probably one of the most vulnerable in society there is. I am not comfortable leaving my kid to fend for himself as my first job as a mum is to protect my kid and hey if an accident should occur then i will be prosecuted where david cameron is the guy who should be proecuted as he is the one forcing me to abandon my kid to work , margaret thatcher was intending to send single parents to the church for food like it was 100 yrs ago, will that be his next move ? If a government dont care about kids safety then they shouldnt be n power.
Hi June. I agree with everything you have said, and yes it's true if an accident should occur we both know who will get the blame, don't we. I do not blame you at all for not feeling comfortable leaving your son alone and why should you, would any government figure leave their child without adaquate childcare, again we both know the answer. I work voluntary (1 day a week) and when my daughter is off through the holidays I am quite comfortable to leave her on the day I work voluntary (she's 12) and she is quite comfortable to be left alone, but not all children can be left alone, and nor should they have to be if a mum/dad and of course the child does not feel comfortable. and you are 100% correct with your last comment "if a government don't care about kids safety then they shouldn't be in power" God alone knows who voted them in, but it certainly was not me that's a definate cert. They are going to finish off everything that Mararet Thatcher started, and guess what they will enjoy it. Also I doubt very much that there is any hope for the liberal democrats after joining forces with the conseratives. x
What a brilliant website and some really good discussions and some brilliant points made, I love the title of this discussion,"The government tightens its grip on lone parents" what a damn shame they're not so good and focused at tightening it's grip on the banks. Sorry but someone had to be brave enough and say it. xx
We can sit on this website and talk for a million years, but I would bet my 6 lottery numbers that nothing will ever change and do you know why? well I will say it exactly as it is "The government dislikes lone parents that much that they could not give a damn how hard it is for us. My child is at an age now where she can to some extent look after herself ,but that to me is not the point. I bought her in to the world through choice so I believe that I should be allowed to be there for her, after all we do not take the right to be there for their children from married women, and for those who may be wanting to write "but you chose to be single parent, Please think very hard first as you do not know why people are single parents.", It does seem pretty maddening that criminals have human rights to be with their families( Sorry but I have to ask where are the human rights brigade when it comes to speaking out for lone parents), but single parents are being forced away from their child/ren and what is their crime? oh yes of course "Wanting to be their for their children and nurture them. Why is the government paying people an extortionate ammount of money to look after the children of lone parents to do a job what they want and could do themselves. Have to add on another note What happens to a women or man if they should suddenly find themselves in the predicament of being a lone parent which can happen to anyone! eg a partener dying or or leaving their families. I would like to think that in these circumstances that these families are allowed some breathing space as surley it is heartbreaking enough for children to suffer the loss of one parent than for the government to be taking away the one remaining parent (by forcing them out to work) due to personal reasons not everyone is suited to work and Why should single parents have to be all apolgetic to society when they are asked "what they do for a living"? ( an extermerley bad mannered question IMO) , but why don't we say". I am a mum/ dad with pride" as what we do is the hardest job ever and an expensive one,too the government would be a rather sticky situation if was to die suddenly and do you know why? (because they would have to pay a foster carer a lot of money to do what I believe I am very good at. Being a parent.! We are all adults on this discussion so I am pretty sure we can all deal with the truth so therfore I going to say this if someone was to say to a married women "What do you do for a living and she answered" I am a stay at home mum" Would society judge her? No of course they would not so why are single parents judged for wanting to be there for their children? I hope that my comments have not offended anyone as believe me that was never my intention and I offer my full apologies if it has or perhaps I am writing what everyone else is thinking. xxx oh B.T.W believe it or not after reading my comment I am one of those single parents who does want to work, but it should be my own choice and not something that I feel bullied or intimidated in to. xxxx
I have the benefit of having sat on both sides of the fence. I am a full time working mum (60-70 hrs a week average) who went back to work so we are a family could keep our home after my saving had delpleted on maternity leave. Our daughter is not yet three and my husband walked out 3 months ago, citing life as a family as simply too stressful, as he had to balance a small amount of childcare with a job and we could not afford holidays. I got nothing tax credit wise at all. I paid out half my salary on childcare every month, worked 13 hour days, travelled, and then came home and did my 'night' job as I called it - running our entire home from food, clothes, washing, cleaning, all needs of my child, her medical needs, my medical needs (we both have chronic illnesses by genetics) for our entire family - as my husband worked too. He cared for our child when I travelled abroad.
However, today, I find myself a single mother, with a full time job - no option for part time, redunancy is the only other option and find another job. Flexible working was declined as it does not fit with my role. I earn slightly over the national average wage. Today my childcare costs total 65% of my salary. I am entitled to £400 tax credits a year. That is it.
I find myself wondering what life would be like today if I had not funded via the extorionate taxes paid since the age of 19 (I am 34 and never been out of work) millions of women who have had the ability to stay at home and be a mother to their child - perhaps I would survive now? Perhaps my taxes would not be so high and I would have more income.....
The question here is not whether us mothers wish to remain at home with their children rather than work - of course we all do! It is what is realistic here? It is obvious that if all mothers stayed at home and did not work caring for their children, then someone has to pay for the cost of sustaining these women and children. It is very rare today to have a partner who earns sufficient to fund an entire family on one income.Working is reality - no one says its a wonderful great thing. None the less it is a reality.
As a married woman I did 70 hrs work, gave up half my salary on childcare, and did my ''other job'' of running our lives and home after work. So everything single non working mother did - I did too and a full time job. My husband beat and abused me, refused to help with anything - but I stayed until he left me as I knew the reality was I could not AFFORD to live and rear my child alone. Also a reality was my job requires long hours and travel - alone I would need to fund further childcare to have my daughter cared for in this time. Get another job I hear you say, or work part time. Part time not an option. Another job - well there are not that many out there.....So now I live in a room with my child in my parents home. I have had to give up all our belongings, our home, everything simply because I cannot afford to
the issue here is the COST of living in the UK not the emotional arguement of whether or not a mother would ideally work. In reality we all need to work and sustain ourselves, it is just basic common sense - not withstanding we would prefer not to!
The government needs to realise that half of the problem here is UK costs VS UK salary levels - If you earn £10000 - but it costs you £20000 to sustain that life (home, food, childcare etc) then you don't have to be smart to realise it is not possible. Look at other European countries - there are HUGE tax breaks and childcare support payments - Scandinavia gives you 3 years full pay maternity leave followed by virtually full subsidised childcare from 1. Surprise surpise, the % of working mother is huge compared to the UK. Instead of supporting women not to work, perhaps they should support women TO work. I work for nothing now, no prospect of my own home or independance unless I treble my salary. Is this fair? is it anymore fair that millions do not work and I still pay taxes to support them, but cannot support myself.
We need to demand better support TO work.
I think you should go to Citizen's Advice, or you must be earning way over £30,000. Having been on benefits as a divorced single mum, I have never been poorer in my life nevermind the fact that you seem to be treated as a social outcast at the bottom of society's ladder. As a professional graduate, I was delighted to go back to work and couldn't believe how better off I was in term of tax credits too without having to suffer the humiliation of attending a jobcentre every 2 weeks and getting treated like a skiver!
Working gives anyone their confidence back and you seem to get more respect in the UK if you work than being a stay-at-home mum, even worse is a single mum - afterall we just have children to get houses and live off benefits don't we, as if! Millions do not work because there are NO jobs, got it, and your taxes support banks and wars far more than a poor mother raising her child.
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I also agree with the other comments regards csa payments.
I also do not get regular maintenance from my sons father. He has his own business but gets away with providing false wage slips/ earnings so he doesn't have to pay much.
While I struggle financially to provide the best I can for my son. The csa should look into matters more regards situations like these so that the mothers do get regular maintenance payments.
im a single mum of 2 altho my 15yr old daughter can fend for herself my 6yr old cant and have been told i must look for work when he reaches the age of 7 next january. is the goverment blind ther are no jobs and maybe im old fashioned but i believe a mum should be at home for her kids. i have read all the comments on here and totally agree with all you have all said. im on my own and dnt have family close by to help me out it just makes me sick the way we as lone parents are being treated and being FORCED to work. i dont want my kids being left with any tom dick or harry thank u very much! what the goverment dont realise is women are goig to get pregnant to stay on benefits which means a rise in population and if any of u single mums here like me an increase in depression! i've been so worried sick i have had to see my gp as im so stressed out and making myself ill i've been described antidepressants. someone should collect all these comments and show them to david cameron let him see what its doing to us. being a single parent is very tough. i would love it if it was relooked and change it back. it also means kids are going to get out of control and think they can do what ever they like cos the parents arent ther to discipline them. so to the goverment PLEASE PLEASE think about what this is doing to us lone parents ur taking away what we love doing the most BEING A MUM!
I agree strongly, especially if a woman wants to stay at home and actively bring her own kids up she should be allowed to do it. My son is 24 now but when he was younger the childcare was not up to my own standards so I decided to pack work in and bring him up myself. The government says they can help towards childcare costs but that's not good enough as children will not be given the care and emotional support that a mother would. Pay the mother to stay at home to look after her child/ whats the difference, someone else doing a poorer job and getting paid whilst you go out to work to pay them?. My son has never been in trouble and has had a good education and now has a good job. I take absolute credit for the way he's turned out. That's me staying at home to look after him whilst going to adult education whilst he was in school so that i can find a decent job when he left. I am now a Foster Carer.
Hi Anne. Read your comment and I have to say that I couldn't agree more and yes I have to be absolutly honest I am one of those single mums who is seriously cosidering "getting pregnant" to put an end to all this worry" I've been trying to get work for over 12 months now without any luck and I am (I even give up some free time to volunteer,) so I would defy anyone to say to me," but you haven't even tried to get work" Sorry that these rule changes are making you ill The government makes out that these changes are for the welfare of the children well then if that is the case what is the benefit is it for your children and of course you if you are ill with worry. I think it'S an excellent idea that you mentioned, Anne we should show these comments to David Cameron. to show exactly what life is like for us that have to live in the real world.
Hi Anne. Read your comment and I have to say that I couldn't agree more and yes I have to be absolutly honest I am one of those single mums who is seriously cosidering "getting pregnant" to put an end to all this worry" I've been trying to get work for over 12 months now without any luck and I am (I even give up some free time to volunteer,) so I would defy anyone to say to me," but you haven't even tried to get work" Sorry that these rule changes are making you ill The government makes out that these changes are for the welfare of the children well then if that is the case what is the benefit is it for your children and of course you if you are ill with worry. I think it'S an excellent idea that you mentioned, Anne we should show these comments to David Cameron. to show exactly what life is like for us that have to live in the real world.
so the government is requiring no I'll say it as it is (forcing) lone parents out to work some may say this is not a completly bad idea. There is just 1 slight problem in this economic climate where on earth are these so called phantom jobs going to come from bcoz my insticts tell me not from this planet, where almost everyday we read about business closing down and thousands of jobs being lost. The goverments wants everyone in work, ok a fair comment in itself but we have to look deeper if the government are highering the retierment age to 76 and from October 2011 lowreing the age to 5 where lone parents will have to look for work. This government seems to want to have it both ways. it seems that the only secure job would be to work in job centre plus, oh no some of them are being made redundant, too aren't they. x
I beleive that it should be the choice of the parent when they should be availlable for work after all we do not hear married or partenered women being labelled as scroungers do we, but as soon as someone says that they are a single parent who does not work society and the government judge them ( can any one please tell me what moral difference there is between lone parents and 2.4 mothers being allowed to be there for their children because T.B.P.H I can't). I have been really saddened by some these comments of how people have been treated 1 particular single mum being expected to possibly leave her 5 and 8 year old at home if she cannot find suitable childcare, surley I am not the only who finds this sickening. would any government figure or job centre worker accept this for their own children? I would expect a big resounding " no they would not" and of course quite right,too so why should single parents be expeceted to leave their children on their own? On a personal level I do want to work and I give my time up on a voluntary basis which I love and find it really rewarding and I have made lots of new friends and even gained a qualification in advice and guidance. I have a daughter who is 12 and she is very self resilient mature and sensible, and when I hopefully do find employment she will be fine to let herself in after school and warm her tea up in the microwave, but not all children are self resiliant and confident enough to be left alone(hence my reason for me stating that it should be a personal choice) However as for saying I am eager to work which I think is proven in my willingness to participate in voluntary work I am a mum first and will make no apology to any government figure or job centre worker or work pogramme provider or society for saying this. Also forcing lone parents when (some of them) have circumstances that would be totally unsuitable for work benefits who exactly? because it certainly is not the child/ren or the parent worrying themselves sick about leaving their children and the added worry of benefit sanctions( another bullying policy) on lone parents whose only crime is wanting to be there for their children) and not society either if due to not having full parental guidance the children left to their own devices may go off the rails, then who will society and the government blame? yes you've guessed it THE LONE PARENT. we can't win. xxx
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